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Elements to develop effective listening

Elements to develop effective listening

In interpersonal relationships, the structure of communication is essential, there is no other way to establish, sustain and maintain human relationships other than the way of healthy communication.

Typically we see communication from two actors: the sender and the receiver, which is fine, because communication requires these two participants, without neglecting, the channel, the type of message and so on, but I will not emphasize these other elements.

But when talking about communication, within the sender and the receiver, there are psychological and cognitive categories, which are of vital importance so that communication can effectively achieve its main objective, which is the understanding of individual positions, in pursuit of understanding and integration, and the acceptance of criteria that establish healthy agreements.

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Effective listening

I will define the effective listening, such as the reception of information by the recipient in a clear and objective way, achieving the integration of the message received in an appropriate manner, in as much as it responds to the intentionality of the sender as to what he really wishes to communicate.

What do I mean? In simpler terms, the person who receives the message really understands what is being said, depending on what the sender wants to communicate.

So that the listen be effective, the receiver needs to be very clear that it is necessary:

Avoid emotional listening

At the time of communication, it is key that the receiver and the sender, keep in mind the emotions of each one, to avoid distortion or complication of communication.

If the receiver is filtering things, for example, from anger, anger, tension, demotivation, this generates a very complex filter, which can put the person on the defensive, as the person is angry, listen with little empathy and openness becomes more difficult, which can create comprehensive blockages that make communication more difficult, meanwhile, incorrect words may be said, or unpleasant justifications are sought, which could trigger an explosive reaction, Unleash the expression of disproportionate anger that in no way helps communication.

When the listening is emotional, the message is distorted, losing the intentionality of the message, by the issuer, and creating a subjective interpretation, possibly for nothing productive.

Avoid prejudiced listening

For the listening to be effective, the recipient must be aware if he has developed a subjective view of the issuer, and has put labels on it, prejudices to the receiver, from which he disqualifies, invalidates the message, for example if the receiver starts from the principle that the sender is clumsy, silly, part of the prejudice that everything this person says is stupid, it is possible that the communication complicate very quickly, because the receiver will look for any element in the communication to reinforce this preconceived idea that he has, which distorts the communication and complicates its fluidity, since there is a negative predisposition to everything that is said.

Avoid partial listening

One of the elements that causes great and strong communication conflicts is associated with the receiver, when it has a partial or intermittent listening, that is, he does not pay attention to everything expressed, or worse, does not allow the issuer to express its contents clearly and fluidly.

This complicates communication, as the reactions of the other or the other could be intense. When the sender is giving his message, this habit of constantly interrupting not only affects the flow of the sender, but also begins to divert the center of the communication, that is, the message, when trying to capture the attention of the receiver, possibly creating a messy lamination of the message, since it is constantly interrupted.

When the listening is partial, the integration of the message is diluted, possibly it enters into a very conflicting communication, in which the issuer, in the face of interruptions, is obliged to be giving explanations, calling attention, meanwhile, listening is ineffective and creates multiple distortions in communication .

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These elements are of vital importance so that the receiver and the sender, assume a position that implies greater openness, wisdom and prudence in the analysis of the statement.

If we do not avoid an emotional, prejudiced, partial listening, everything is complicated, it is necessary to seek an effective listening, oriented to have a greater communicative fluency, which causes a cleaner and more objective reception of the message, this can facilitate understanding, by Therefore, give better results.

In order for the listening to be effective, the other actor, the sender, also has to contribute to this process, there are some basic communication behaviors that can contribute to making the message more effective in order to provoke a better listening.

  • Seek adequate message structuringThis is a responsibility of the issuer, being very clear about what is going to be communicated is essential.
  • It helps a lot explain the importance of the statement, in a clear concrete and precise way, to greater structuring of the message, greater clarity therefore, greater simplicity for understanding, which could cause the receiver to have a better willingness to listen, therefore the fluidity of the message is probably more transparent .

Seek a emotionally balanced emission, is an indispensable condition in communication. Every sender, regardless of the content of the message, is obliged to take care of aspects such as tone, gesture, select language, ensuring that it is warm, create communicative circumstance, that is, ensure that there is a good environment that allows a very good disposition, to cause a sound listen.

In very simple terms, there is nothing ugly that cannot be communicated in a beautiful way, trying to avoid creating unnecessary tensions or frictions.

Providing a good disposition is essential, but one step further, the issuer must be clear that there are two variables in the understanding of his message: the clarity with which the message is being given and the effectiveness with which it is being received, if in addition to this we add a good atmosphere, we take care of the form and style of communication, it may be that the understanding of the message by the receiver is greater.

The sender must be willing to explain the message as many times as necessary, so that it is clear, which implies proper handling of emotions, ensuring that frustration, anger, irritability, stress are in control, in order to avoid creating a tense climate, which causes unnecessary discussions or complications.

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Seek a patient, cautious, tolerant and comprehensive exposure

The sender has to be very clear, that much of what he says may not be understood at first, or not analyzed by the receiver from the perspective raised, this could eventually create a sense of resistance to the message sent, this is going involve a deeply assertive effort, so that communication can flow.

Therefore it is important, make eye contact, when necessary, make a graph, explain things in the most pedagogical way possible, when the sender loses patience, because he considers that the receiver does not understand, we must remember that it may be that the receiver is not really understanding, but also we must consider that the communication might not be so comprehensive, hence the need for a positive recurrence on the message, through different means, forms and expressions, so that the message is clear, if applicable, it is required explain it until it is understood and integrated by the receiver.

Communication as a process is something central to the life of any human being, but I believe that many pay little attention to learning about communication, learning about emission and reception, about assertiveness.

Learning about all this helps create positive circumstances that contribute to healthy communicationIt is everyone's responsibility and I consider it important that we assume this issue with commitment and seriousness, since there is no human relationship that does not involve communication at any level.

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